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The science of attraction: what really draws us to each other?

THE SCIENCE OF ATTRACTION: WHAT REALLY DRAWS US TO EACH OTHER?

M.J. Santos   |   Fri, 30 Aug 2024

Ever locked eyes with a stranger across a crowded room and felt an instant spark? Or swiped right on someone's profile and just knew they were special? Welcome to the wild, wonderful world of attraction, folks!

Sure, we all know that feeling of being drawn to someone like a moth to a flame. But have you ever wondered what's actually going on behind the scenes? Buckle up, Couplers, because we're about to dive deep into the science of attraction. Spoiler alert: it's way more complex (and way cooler) than you might think!

The eyes have it (but so does everything else)

Let's start with the obvious: physical attraction. We all know those first impressions count for a lot, but here's where it gets interesting:

Symmetry is sexy: Our brains are wired to find facial symmetry attractive. It's like our subconscious is playing a game of "Spot the Difference," and the fewer differences it finds, the more attractive we perceive someone to be.

Body language speaks volumes: Before you even open your mouth, your body is sending out all kinds of signals. Open posture, mirroring your date's movements, and maintaining eye contact are all subtle cues that scream "I'm interested!"

The nose knows: Ever caught a whiff of someone's perfume and felt instantly smitten? Pheromones are real, people! These sneaky chemical signals can influence attraction without us even realizing it.

Sound of music: A person's voice can be a major turn-on (or turn-off). Studies have shown that women tend to prefer deeper voices in men, while men often find higher-pitched female voices more attractive. Time to practice those sexy phone voices, eh?

It's all in your head (literally)

But attraction isn't just about what meets the eye (or nose, or ear). Our brains are working overtime to process all sorts of psychological factors:

Birds of a feather: We tend to be drawn to people who are similar to us. Shared interests, values, and backgrounds can create an instant bond. So maybe opposites don't always attract after all!

Mystery = chemistry: On the flip side, a little bit of novelty can spice things up. Our brains love a good puzzle, which is why that slightly mysterious stranger can seem so alluring.

Emotional connection is key: Physical attraction might get your foot in the door, but emotional compatibility is what keeps you there. Being able to understand and connect with someone on a deeper level? That's the real relationship gold.

Biology: your inner animal

Now, let's get down to the nitty-gritty science stuff. Your hormones are basically having a party every time you meet someone new:

Evolutionary instincts: Some theories suggest that we're subconsciously looking for signs of good genes and reproductive fitness. So if you find yourself drawn to that gym rat with the chiseled jawline, blame your own inner animal!

Hormone havoc: Oxytocin (the "cuddle hormone") and dopamine (the "feel-good" neurotransmitter) play a huge role in attraction and bonding. When you're around someone you're into, your brain is basically taking a chemical bubble bath.

Genetic matchmaking: Some studies suggest we're attracted to people with different immune system genes than our own. Nature's way of ensuring healthy offspring, perhaps?

It's complicated (thanks, society)

Of course, we can't talk about attraction without acknowledging the big, messy influence of society and culture:

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder ... and the media: What's considered attractive can vary widely between cultures and has changed dramatically over time. Thanks a lot, unrealistic beauty standards!

Social norms at play: Societal expectations about relationships, gender roles, and acceptable partners all factor into who we allow ourselves to be attracted to. (But that doesn’t mean we can’t break the bonds of so-called “normalcy,” amirite?)

Modern love in a digital world

Now, let's talk about the elephant in the room (or should we say, the smartphone in your hand?). Technology has completely revolutionized the way we meet and connect with potential partners:

Swipe right for love: Dating apps like Couple have made it easier than ever to meet new people. But they've also changed the game when it comes to how we present ourselves and how we judge others.

Information overload: With social media, we often know a lot about someone before we even meet them. This can create a false sense of intimacy... or send us running for the hills based on their cringey TikTok dance.

Couple’s conclusion? Attraction is WEIRD

Here's the thing, Couplers: attraction is complicated. It's a messy, beautiful cocktail of biology, psychology, and societal influence. And guess what? That's what makes it so exciting!

So the next time you feel that spark with someone, take a moment to marvel at all the amazing processes happening in your brain and body. It's pretty darn cool when you think about it.

And remember, while science can explain a lot about attraction, it can't predict or control it. That magic moment when you connect with someone special? That's all you, baby.

And hey, if you're ready to put this science to the test, why not sign up for our next Couple speed-dating party? Who knows, you might just find that perfect chemical reaction. 😉


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